Loons called Morris dancing In Disley - a stressful night in Cheshire

I have had a very stressful evening last night.  I was perfectly happy when I heard bells and banging so I looked out the window and there were some absolute loons out there dancing.  They were loons for several reasons.  For starters, they were all wearing matching clothes and even though I'm colour blind I could tell they were not nice colours.  They all had bits of bird stuck in their hats and their faces were all painted black.  They must have birds as friends instead of dogs, but you'd never see Dave with my dog hair in a hat, even if it is lovely soft ginger coloured hair.  They had sticks that they weren't even throwing to be fetched and they were loud.  I asked Louise what was going on and she said they all danced because they were called Morris.  Not liking your name is no excuse for making such a racket. 

Loons called Morris

I stood and watched them for a bit, hoping my steely glare would stop them in their madness or at least get them to throw one of their sticks for me to fetch but it was no good.  I tried my really grumpy glare, the one that makes Louise walk me when she has a bad head on Sundays but no.

Steely glare turning to grumpy glare

I began to get quite upset in the end and stood on the arm of the sofa, which I am absolutely not allowed to do, to get a better view of the crazy people.  I can understand why they were in the White Lion car park, if I ran a pub I wouldn't let that go on I'd kick them out too.  In the end they stopped and I tried to settle down a bit but all night I kept getting up to check they were definitely gone.  I no longer like anyone called Morris.

So upset that my eyes glazed over.  Bad boy, off the sofa.

Barking mad this summer in Disley

It is very warm outside which is exciting, because it means that Dave can try out his new massive barbie queue soon, hopefully that means lots of sausages for me!  It's warmer because it's summer, which is a group of months when it's hot and there's no snow.   I like it a lot except it's harder to relax in the evening because the heat makes everything louder and I don't know why.

People walking past talk louder and cars drive louder, even dogs bark louder.  It's very annoying when I'm trying to watch my favourite shows.  Dave says it's because the windows are open but I don't see how the windows being open tells people it's OK to be noisier.  I'm extra loud back and glare out of the window to show I'm not happy.

Noisy people, interrupting my evening

I thought I would have to bark out of the front window all of the time anyway when Louise said she was going to put some bark down in the front garden so she doesn't have dig it up again when the weeds come back (not sure how they're going to get out the wheelie bin).  I was pleased to find out that it's little bits of trees.  It's nice to see that trees are good for more than just weeing against, although I know they're mainly there for me.

I'm a good dog - no bin unturned.

I was particularly sleepy today.  It's Friday and it's been a long long week of getting up early and trotting along to work at John's, where I am in charge of guarding the house and playing with Sox; John's dog.  I know Louise works hard as a marketer - which is actually not running a market stall like I thought, she just tells people they want stuff, and Dave drives a lot of buses, but I work too.  I have to stand by John's window and look at everyone in Disley going past, occasionally barking.  I also have to run around the park with Sox.  I'm faster than Sox and so I try to motivate him a bit.  I do get a few naps but every job has perks, like Louise gets to ride a train and a tram, lucky!

Because I'm so tired from a long week I wasn't too keen to get going but when I was a bit slow to get off the sofa Louise said I looked guilty and asked what I'd done!  How rude!  I am a very good dog; I keep laps warm, water the outside plants, deter cats and greet delivery men very loudly.  Louise better have a good apology tonight and gravy bones, especially as I emptied the kitchen bin to make sure those chicken scraps didn't get wasted.  I'm too good to them.

How is this a guilty look?!

I am BatDog!

It was a pretty good weekend, Dave's parents did come and although Jen forgot the treats (luckily I have my own!) I got lots of fuss.  I was a bit sad because my friends Samuel and Lois had gone away for the weekend but luckily because the banks gave everyone the Monday off again, I still got to spend some time with them, and Helen and Stephen (they're their parents, they have to go everywhere with them like Dave and Louise do with me although Samuel and Lois don't have leads).

Samuel has an awesome T Shirt with a cape so that he looks like Batman, who is what Louise calls a superhero.  Superheros are supposed to crusade against evil, and seeing as I crusade very well against ducks and the postman, Samuel let me borrow his cape.  I'm not sure about being BatDog because a bat is a different animal and they are a bit scary.  I'm hoping Samuel will get a Superman T Shirt with a cape because I would definitely like to be SuperDog; me and Samuel could fight against evil together.  Louise took a photo of me as BatDog; I am trying to look like a noble superhero, fighting against the injustice of mean ducks and junk mail posting postmen.

I am kind of BatDog

BBQs and Bank Holidays in Disley

It was Dave and Louise's birthday this week, and they got each other big boxes that they didn't open on the day, which was strange I thought.  Louise says she's opening hers this weekend when she's got time to put up her new patio furniture.  Furniture is normally inside and very comfie to sit on so I'm looking forward to furniture I can sit on in the garden and keep guard for Ollie, the mean cat next door.  Dave opened his last night and it's barbie queue, which I thought might be a queue of dolls but it turns out he can cook food for me like sausages on it outside.  It's so big he can't even get it out the living room and I didn't like the banging when he tried to move it.  Louise laughed a lot but I know Dave will move it when he's finished driving the bus; he's very strong.

My new barbie queue for my sausages

The banks have told everyone they can have Monday off, which is nice of them.  David, the man in charge of the country, must let the banks choose the holidays because they have all the money.  Dave's Mum and Dad might visit us in Disley which is nice.  His Mum is called Jen and she lets me sit on her lap to snooze.  I plan to snooze a lot this weekend.  Louise says we can visit her Mum and Dad again soon too; they live in Hampshire which is a long drive from Cheshire.  It's good there because even though I'm not allowed on the furniture they have set me up my very own outdoor dog toilet to wee in called a pond.

Snoozing on laps

A quiet weekend for this dog in Disley

It's been a pretty quiet weekend this week.  Dave had to work and so me and Louise mainly played on our own.  Louise seemed a little grumpy on Saturday because she was trying to make the floor look nice; she said the carpet, which is what they put on the floor to make sure my paws stay soft, was a mess. 

She sprayed what looked like dog shampoo (which I definitely don't like) on the floor by the door and used a funny brush to scratch it.  It was very odd but she seemed to think it looked better and I was just pleased it wasn't me being washed and brushed.  Then she hoovered it.  I hate the hoover, it is a mean, loud machine that makes sure the floor is working properly and I think Louise goes near me with it on purpose.  I make sure I move out the way slowly, so she can see I'm not scared.  She says now I need to keep my muddy paws off of the floor.  I've been practicing although I can't get around the house on my back all the time!

Paws off the floor!

Louise might have also been grumpy because I woke her up earlier than she wanted.  I wasn't happy about having to bark so loud in the morning any more than she was, but Disley's postman was posting more junk mail through the hole in the door.  I think it's so rude, I would never give people junk but he seems to do it every day and get paid for it.  When Louise had stopped saying rude words at me (she is not keen on mornings) she said the junk mail was about curry, which is spicy food that is not for dogs, so I wasn't interested.  There's never any junk mail about things I like, like chasing squirrels, crisps, Frisbees and gravy.

I hear junk mail!

 This week is Louise and Dave's birthday.  I think it's good that they arranged them to be next to each other so it's easier for me to remember.  I will be giving them extra kisses and cuddles because I know that would be their favourite present.

The longest walk in the history of Disley

Cooling off in the stream!

I had a VERY busy day yesterday, I went on one of the longest walks I think I’ve ever been on, even dog walks with Aaron.  It was a really nice day because the sky was blue and Dave and Louise walked me together which was a special treat.  We went down to the canal but we went a different way and ended up walking through the woods which was dark and there were lots of funny noises in the trees and bushes.  Louise and Dave got a bit tired and sat on a giant stick that is too big to throw for fetch called a log, and then we carried on to find some water for me.  

This stick was too big to fetch

It was very hot so I was pleased to find a little stream, but then we found a bigger stream called a river and I think it’s where Aaron takes me, except this time I had it all to myself.  I like the water but not when my little legs can’t touch the bottom.  Dave was trying to get me to swim a bit more, and so he threw sticks for me to fetch into the deep water.  I tried barking at them to get to get closer but when that didn’t work I found out that the water makes the stick move, and so if you stand further down the river in the shallow part it floats to you.  This is a much better way of playing fetch; when the stick comes to you.  Even then, I got very wet and had to shake a lot to get even a bit dry.  I had a good mind to make Dave go into the deeper water himself, he has very long legs; he’s much bigger than any other dog owner which is good because big dogs don’t mess with me.  

Shaking off

 After the long long walk Louise said she was gasping, which is a funny kind of breathing, and I don’t know how a pint would help with breathing but it seemed to make her and Dave feel much better and Dave looked a lot less red.  I don’t drink pints but it was good to rest and dry off in the sunshine.

 

A pint on the way home

I like sunshine better than any other kind of weather, even snow and I love snow.  Sunshine means longer walks and fun in the water, and if we go to the pub everyone likes to sit in the beer garden with me even more than they already do.