Pringles are good - Postmen are bad

Louise is very happy with me today because the vet says I am healthy.  Well, I already knew that, but Louise has been very worried about this little bump on my side.  The vet says it is a fatty lump, which I thought was a bit rude but he meant the bump was a fatty lump not that I am a fatty lump.  I was worried that if Dave thought I was a fatty lump that he wouldn’t share his crisps any more, which would be a shame as I am particularly partial to Pringles.  Pringles are special crisps that are all the same shape, so they must be made with funny shaped potatoes.

Looking for the Postman - we don't want your junk!

While Louise has been worried about me, I am more concerned about our postman, who is posting more than ever through the hole in the door.  I said that we should plug the hole up but Louise said no in case we miss an important Bill, although I don’t know anyone called Bill let alone an important one.  Louise calls it junk mail, and when I looked up ‘junk’ it said ‘useless material.’  Why our postman would choose to post us something useless I do not know, so I am responding by shouting at him every time he posts anything.  Hopefully soon he will get the message that we don’t want his junk and give it to the woman next door who has a snooty cat called Ollie.  I don’t like Ollie because he can sit on fences and window ledges when I can’t.  I don’t get on with most of the cats in Disley; they are like bigger meaner squirrels.

Me and Ollie - the snootiest cat in Disley

Cats vs Dogs

I'm a relatively chilled out kind of a chap, but this is one cat that gets on my whiskers.  Dave and Louise say I have to be polite to him, but whenever they're not looking I pull faces and bark quietly at him.  His name's Ollie and look at him looking down his nose at me! I think he's a bit jealous of me because he has to walk himself while Louise, Dave or one of my other friends comes out to play with me.  Also, Ollie doesn't have a Frisbee like me.  I'd lend him mine like I do my other friends if he was nicer.

My best friends are Sox who I play with whenever Dave and Louise have to work, Scrappy, who is Aaron's dog and Rupert, who is Barbara's little puppy that she dressed up at Christmas. We are definitely the best dogs in Cheshire.

Ollie, the cat from next door (he's mean)