Another busy week for Disley's top dog

It's been a busy week.  Louise went somewhere called London at the beginning of the week and she sent pictures of a dog she saw on the train.  He was sitting on the seat, which is naughty, although I sit on the seats too.  He didn't look very happy, I don't know why, I like sitting on the seat.

Sad looking dog

When she got back she was quite tired so the next day we worked from home.  She said I could relax but it's only fair I help so I took care of her lap computer when she wasn't sat next to it.  She said she got a lot of emails.  They're like letters but they go through the air onto a computer.  I like emails better than normal mail, and if all letters were email the postman would never come, which wouldn't be a bad thing.

Reading emails from my home office

On Friday Louise was very hot and tired on the way home.  She gets poorly sometimes when she's too hot and tired so Helen came to pick me up and we all walked to get Louise a cold drink together.  I was hot and tired too and so I was a bit nervous that Millie was there, she pulls my tail sometimes and I don't like that when I'm hot.  I had a good look around then I could relax. 

Checking for tail pullers

After Louise was rested I hung out with my friend Lois.  I'm helping her to learn to talk - she could say my name before Louise or Dave's.  The next words I'll be teaching her are biscuit, treat, bone and chews.  They're my favourites; that way she can make sure I have enough food.  Lois's favourite food is cheese, and I'm the only person she shares with. 

Teaching Lois to say biscuit.  Bis - cuit.  Biscuit.

Do dogs snore?

Me, not snoring.

Louise has said that the older I get the more I snore, and now that I am 6 I am snoring louder and louder.  I've heard Dave snore and sometimes Louise, when she's had a lot of apple juice from the pub, but I've never heard me snore.  Louise says it's because I'm asleep that I can't hear it, but I always hear the Disley postman when I'm asleep so I'm not sure that's true.

I hope that if I do snore that she won't make me sleep downstairs.  I like sleeping on my own green bed by their bed, and sometimes in the morning I get in for a cuddle.  Dave pretends he doesn't like my morning cuddles but I know he does, especially when I let him know that it's time to get up by licking his face.

It was Dave and Louise's anniversary this week.  An anniversary is a game they play where they try and find a present made out of the same kind of thing, and this year they had to find cotton presents.  I don't think that Louise really understood the game because she got Dave a book, which is made from paper (I got the game).  The book was all about dogs called 'Text from Dog' so she must have really got it for me, and she also sewed some dogs for Dave, which were a bit like me but grey not ginger.  I hope she's not saying that I'll go grey like Dave's Dad, but I am 6 now so I'll keep an eye on that.  Dave got Louise a cushion with lots of writing on it, which is definitely for me.  Louise says it's not, and that I'm not allowed to sit on it, but we'll see.

My new cushion

What I'd look like grey

A book, that is not made of cotton.  Louise is terrible at this game.

My Online Friends

Louise has been showing me all of the different countries where people have been reading about me from.  There are a lot in a place called America, which is a country across an ocean from us; that's a long swim.  There are a some a bit closer in lots of countries called Europe, which Dave says you can drive to but it would be a very long drive.  The furthest away are people in New Zealand, which is where Louise's sister Julia lives.  It's so far that you can't swim it even if you want to.  Julia lives with her husband Tom and her two kids called Isabella and Jack, and my new online friend Lucy.

Lucy from New Zealand

Lucy is a clever dog because she uses a webcam all the time to talk to Louise's Mum and Dad; Hazel and Peter.  A webcam is where you can see each other on computers even though they live a long way away, and Louise's Mum and Dad talk to Lucy nearly every week.  When we visited Peter and Hazel, Lucy said hello to me too, although I had to sit on Hazel's lap to see the screen which I think she enjoyed.  Lucy said it's great being a dog in New Zealand because it is warm at Christmas and she has her own stream.  I said I like Disley very much because there is snow to play in at Christmas and I have my own stream too, I just choose to share it with other dogs in Disley!

My stream in Disley - which I share like a good boy

One of my readers from America is friends with Helen and Stephen, and they say he might visit some time.  He's from a place in America called Florida, where a mouse called Micky lives.  I'm not sure how I feel about mice, I hope they're not as mean as cats.

The best BBQ in Cheshire except for trampolines - they are not for dogs

I was very excited to go round Samuel and Lois's last night (Stephen and Helen live there too, kids can't live alone just like dogs can't.)  Stephen cooked a barbie queue for us, although because the shop gave it to him in a box he had to build it first.  He took some time so while I was waiting for my sausages to be ready I watched Samuel jump up and down on something called a trampoline.  It is something that helps you jump higher, I'm not sure why but Samuel loved it.  He let me go on it too but the floor didn't feel right under my paws so I got off again, they are definitely not for dogs.

Trampolines - not for dogs

Samuel and Lois are two of my best friends in Disley and so I thought Louise should take a photo of us all on her clever phone, but it didn't go very well.  The sun was in Samuel's eyes which he didn't like and Lois, because she's only a baby, didn't really understand that she had to sit still, even though I explained it quite clearly; maybe she doesn't speak dog.  She was more interested in drinking her drink.  To be fair I think Louise and Helen were too.  A bird kept distracting me as well, so I gave up in the end. That bird was plotting something and needed monitoring.  Birds in Cheshire are sneaky, you should see the ducks on Disley canal.  They are mean mean mean. 

I see a bird, it's looking at me, why is it looking at me?

The sun in everyone's eyes, where is that bird going, what is it plotting?

The bird has completely ruined the moment; Samuel celebrates as I give up and Lois continues with her drink.

Overall, it was a great night; I ate burger, sausage, chicken (but not the bones as they make dogs poorly) Pringles, cheese and bread that Helen calls muffins that are really buns.  Louise says Helen calls them muffins because she is a monkey from 'The North'.  Cheshire is in 'The North' which is where we live because you get gravy with everything and pubs serve dog biscuits.

Sharing and double standards when it comes to dogs

I have often been told by Dave and Louise how important it is to share, which is why I'm so generous with the Pringles that Louise buys for me; I let Dave have some, I even let him hold the tube.  BUT, I'm starting to think that there are double standards going on; why do I have to share my Pringles when Louise won't share her pillow?  She likes to sit with the pillow when she watches TV, but I like to sit on the pillow when I'm watching her watching TV.  She said it's her pillow because she bought it, but I more than pull my weight as a food disposal unit as well as a cat deterrent and junk mail monitoring system.  

I am going to try and get Louise used to sharing the pillow by looking so comfortable on the pillow that she feels really really bad asking to use it.  Let me know what you think of my 'I'm so comfie, why would you want me to move' look.  The stripey blanket next to where I'm sitting on Louise's pillow is my dog blanket, which Louise is more than welcome to share.

I'm so comfie, why would you want me to move?

Taking (photos of) the Ricky

Dave has been driving the bus at night this week.  This means that when Louise picks me up and we get home he's not there, although I always quickly check upstairs to be sure when we get home in case he's having a nap as I like to.  It's a bit quiet without him because he has such a loud laugh, but it's nice to spend time with Louise too.  She was looking on the lapcomputer last night and found some photos of me when I first moved in with Dave and Louise.  It was in another village before we moved to Disley or even Cheshire.  I looked so young and skinny!  I was worried this meant I had got fat but Louise said I was too thin back then and now I am just right.  This is good news; I was worried I wouldn't be allowed any more Pringles.

I look so little!

 This is a funny photo, I thought I must have been being helpful, but Louise said I had taken the brush to play with and wouldn't give it back!  I'm quite sure I was never that immature I'm sure she must be thinking of another ginger haired dog that lived in the area.  I am very helpful these days.  I always make sure that there is no food left on the floor in the kitchen and if someone leaves a wrapper anywhere I make sure there are no crumbs going to fall out of it.  I am also an accomplished bed, sofa and lap warmer, face washer and patio jet sprayer.  Overall seeing as all Dave and Louise have to do is feed me, wash and brush me, walk me and give up half their bed and sofa for me, I think they get a pretty good deal.

I am one helpful dog

Pringles are good - Postmen are bad

Louise is very happy with me today because the vet says I am healthy.  Well, I already knew that, but Louise has been very worried about this little bump on my side.  The vet says it is a fatty lump, which I thought was a bit rude but he meant the bump was a fatty lump not that I am a fatty lump.  I was worried that if Dave thought I was a fatty lump that he wouldn’t share his crisps any more, which would be a shame as I am particularly partial to Pringles.  Pringles are special crisps that are all the same shape, so they must be made with funny shaped potatoes.

Looking for the Postman - we don't want your junk!

While Louise has been worried about me, I am more concerned about our postman, who is posting more than ever through the hole in the door.  I said that we should plug the hole up but Louise said no in case we miss an important Bill, although I don’t know anyone called Bill let alone an important one.  Louise calls it junk mail, and when I looked up ‘junk’ it said ‘useless material.’  Why our postman would choose to post us something useless I do not know, so I am responding by shouting at him every time he posts anything.  Hopefully soon he will get the message that we don’t want his junk and give it to the woman next door who has a snooty cat called Ollie.  I don’t like Ollie because he can sit on fences and window ledges when I can’t.  I don’t get on with most of the cats in Disley; they are like bigger meaner squirrels.

Me and Ollie - the snootiest cat in Disley

Squirrel Hunting and Splashing in Cheshire

I’ve been so tired this week that I’ve only just had a chance to look at all of the pictures Aaron took of me at the weekend!  There are so many, and he’s put them all on Facebook so all of my friends can see them.  There’s a lot of me and my friend Scrappy having fun.  We played on the meadow and did lots of running and hunting for squirrels.  Every time I thought I smelt a squirrel I would call Scrappy and he would come and give me a second opinion of whether it was definitely a squirrel or just a funny smell.   

Hunting squirrels with Scrappy

There were other dogs there too, and they all liked jumping in the river.  I’m not normally keen on the water, I don’t like it when my little legs can’t touch the bottom and the ducks on the canal in Disley are mean bullies.  The water on this river didn’t look too deep though so I tried it and it was very fun and all the other dogs were very impressed with my splashing skills!

Splashing

It was all quite tiring so I was happy to get back to Aarons house and hang out on the sofa with Scrappy.  We sat there and chatted all night until it was time for bed; I told him all about the problems I have with the local ducks and he was a very good listener.

Late night chats with Scrappy at Aaron's house

I could tell Scrappy was sad to see me go home, but it was nice that Dave and Louise were so excited to see me back again.  They were both feeling quite tired but we all had a nice cuddle and then went to watch the football, which was brilliant because Tottenham won.  Lois gave me lots and lots of Cheddars, and then Helen, Lois’s mum, says I can come round on Wednesday to hang out, which doesn’t really involve hanging, just sitting.  I’ll have to bring Louise too, as she gets very noisy if you leave her on her own too long and the neighbours complain.  She can be a lot of responsibility sometimes. 

Wise things Dave and Louise have taught me - It's nice to be nice and size isn't everything.

I was a bit troubled yesterday because Poppy was very sad; she had an argument with Rupert. They're both my good friends (and Poppy's very pretty) so that made me worry.
Rupert had left when I got there and Poppy was lying quietly looking sad. To start with I thought it was because Christine, who runs the pub, had run out of biscuits. That had made me sad, but then Christine is very busy looking after lots of people in Disley so I didn't mind. Then Poppy said Rupert had barked at her and she didn't know why. Poor Poppy.

Poor Poppy

I asked Dave why Rupert would bark at Poppy. He said it could be because Poppy is getting bigger now she's not a puppy any more and Rupert is a bit intimidated, which is like how I feel when I see the yellow dog in the park that can fetch better than me (I don't see the point of fetch, I mean if they want the stick back so much why do they throw it in the first place?)

I told all this to Poppy who woofed me a thank you because she felt a bit better. Then Sarah, Poppy's Mummy, picked her up and gave her a big cuddle and she must have felt much better because she wagged her tail. This is normal; lots of people, mainly men, look happier after Sarah gives them a cuddle (she should cuddle more, she mainly cuddles Poppy's Daddy, the man i'm a bit scared of when there's music; when he dances, he kicks).

Next time I see Rupert i'm going to tell him not to feel bad that Poppy's getting bigger than him, that like Dave says; size isn't everything, and like Louise says; it's nice to be nice. Then I'm sure they will both go back to being the happiest dogs in Cheshire!

Big Hug!

Coming up... Dogs night out with Aaron and Scrappy!

I am going on a special special treat; this Saturday Louise and Dave are letting me go for a sleepover with Scrappy at Aaron's house.  Aaron is professional dog lover, which must be the most important job ever, and he lets dogs go walking with him and stay at his house with Scrappy.  Scrappy is one of my most favourite friends. He is little and fuzzy and grey but he is very well behaved as he has to set an example for all Aaron's friend dogs; some of them are a bit naughty, which is why I work so hard to be one of Aaron's bestest behaved friends.

I get tired after seeing Aaron as he goes on the longest walks ever.  Dave and Louise take me on nice walks but Aaron's go on FOREVER.  I suppose it's because he works full time at loving dogs and Dave and Louise have other jobs.  I don't know what training you need to be a professional dog lover, it's probably a very hard course.  Aaron is easily the best dog lover in Disley, so he must have done very well at dog loving college.

Me and Scrappy looking for squirrels last time I went to sleep over

I just feel bad for Dave and Louise, who have to go on a crawl in Manchester, which is a big city outside Cheshire with less squirrels and parks.  I don't know who's making them do this, but it does not sound fun at all.  Luckily whoever is in charge is letting them stop at some pubs in between crawling.  That's probably a good idea as they aren't used to walking so close to the floor like me.  It's a real skill, one of my many.

Maybe Baby

We have had a pretty quiet weekend.  We went to the park in Disley both days which is always fun, although Louise laughed at me when I ran into a tree.  I just get so excited running and chasing I don't always look where I'm going and I'm sure that tree wasn't there last week.

We went to the meat raffle on Sunday as usual to see all my friends; they mainly come to see me.  Louise had a drink or two and I had some crisps.  They had a party there on the Saturday night and so there were balloons, but the children had already taken them which was sad as I like balloons.  Louise says I can have some next time we go to the shops.  (I don't get to go in as the man that runs it; Mr Tesco says not dogs in the shop - rude man)

Helen was there with baby Lois, who is getting very big now, I even let her hold my lead.  She chewed it a bit which was yuk, I hope she didn't get dog hair in her little mouth.  I like Lois because she drops toast and crisps just for me.  She must like me too.

Me and Lois

I love weekends in Disley!

It's the weekend again, which is great.  During the week Dave and Louise have to work and so they don't have as much time to play, but today Louise is home with me, and they are both around tomorrow to play.  Louise likes to sleep in at the weekend, and I like snoozing as well, as long as  can cuddle up in bed with her once Dave goes to work.  Sometimes though it gets a bit late and I have to remind her to get up.

The best trick to get Louise to get up it to paw at the bed; this shows her that I remember the 'give us your paw' trick as well as waking her up.  If she manages to ignore that I say 'wake up wake up.'  She doesn't always understand what I'm saying but she gets the picture because my funny noises make her laugh.  I like it when she laughs.

 Wake up call

Tonight when Dave finishes work, we're going around to see Helen and Stephen, who are two of my favourite people in Disley.  Their kids, Samuel and Lois will probably be in bed which is a shame because they drop a lot of food for me to eat, but Helen always fusses me and Stephen is funny.  They are going to play a game called Mr and Mrs whether they see who knows the most about each other.  I don't really have a girlfriend (although I like Poppy a lot), so I'm going to help Dave, because Louise talks so much that's it's not really fair to expect him to remember it all!  I hope we win!

Poppy (she's pretty)

Sofa Wars in Disley

Me, Dave and Louise had a night in last night.  We all watched a film called 'Up' which had a funny dog in it.  He kept looking for squirrels that weren't there.  Louise said I was a bit like that but I always know when there's a squirrel.  They confuse me because they run like rabbits but they go up trees like birds.  There are a lot of squirrels in Disley, mainly in Lyme Park and the playground, and I think Disley squirrels are mean.  All I want to do is play but they run away and hide up trees, which I think is very rude.

 
After the film we all sat and listened to music and I tried to get comfie on the sofa.  The problem was that Louise and Dave kept getting up and down to get drinks, go to the toilet (if they didn't drink so much they wouldn't need to as much, I manage to hold it) and so I had problems settling.  I tried sitting one the end with my head on the pillow but then Louise wanted her space back, so when Dave got up to go to the loo (he's like his Dad, when Grandad Dixon comes he goes to the loo a lot too) I tried his seat.  Then of course he wanted to sit down again so I had to sit on the other end next to Louise, and then the pillow fell on me.  The best thing was that me and Dave ate Pringles.  The man that makes Pringles is very clever as he manages to make every crisp exactly the same shape.  I find that very impressive.

Anyway, I have decided that we need a bigger sofa, and it's something I plan to bring up when everyone's in a good mood and they haven't had any grown up apple juice.

Not comfie.

Still not comfie!

I ain't afraid of no Hoover.

It's been very very cold all weekend. I've woken up very chilling every morning and crept into Dave and Louise's bed, and I'm starting to see I've been slacking off in my campaign to swap beds with them. At the end of the day they have each other to keep warm with and my need is greater. I've taken to showing my enjoyment of their bed a bit more obviously and i'm sure they'll take the hint soon.
Aside from that a pretty quiet weekend. Dave was driving his bus so me and Louise went for some walks and i napped while she wrote on her laptop. It was all peaceful except when Louise hoovered. Hoovering is when you check the floor still works, so it's probably a sensible idea except it's so noisy! I like to stay out of the way, not because i'm scared of the noise but because I don't want to disturb Louise. Ollie, the cat that lives next door, is very frightened of hoovers but then he's a cat. As a big tough Cheshire dog i am much braver. All the same i am planning on getting Louise to write to a man called Mr Dyson. He practically invented the hoovering machines according to an advert I saw on TV so i'm sure he can make it quieter so cats aren't scared. (I'm not scared, I'm just trying to help)

The bed will be mine!

Very very very cold

It was saying on the TV that we were going to have a blizzard, which Louise said is loads and loads of snow and wind.  I wasn't looking forward to that at all but when I looked out the window this morning it doesn't seem as bad as I thought.  Louise is working at home because she says if the blizzard comes she wouldn't be able to get home to Disley, which would be sad as she normally feeds me.

Looking for the blizzard

I still get to go to John's house today and he's going to take me out walking, but this morning it was very warm in bed and I could tell it was very cold outside because the floor was white so I wasn't too eager to go out like I normally am.  Tomorrow is the weekend, which are the days that me and Louise get to stay in bed longer if we want without getting in trouble with someone call Boss.  I hope we can stay in bed and then cuddle watching TV, but Louise says she wants to hoover, which is where she checks the floor works with a noisy machine.   I don't like the hoover, it's loud and the string that attaches it to the wall trips me up.  Dave has to drive the bus this weekend so he can join in the cuddles when he gets home.  I like weekends the best because if it's too cold to walk, I can stay on the sofa.

Too cold for a walk

Pride and Prejudice with a Frisbee

I had a busy weekend this week.  As I had been so good for Louise (well, mostly) we all went to the big park, it's actually one of the most famousest parks in Cheshire, because a TV show was filmed there.  I watched some of it once with Louise but it was just about a lot of funny dressed women dancing and trying to get married.  I got bored and went for a snooze halfway through.  Anyway, it's called Lyme Park and there is loads and loads of space to run, I'm very proud of how fast I run.  I took my Frisbee too, I've no prejudice against my other toys but my Frisbee is definitely my favourite.  I like to fetch it myself but I heard Dave say he wanted to do more exercise the other day, so sometimes I ran to it and didn't get it so he could play fetch too (which is the most fun kind of exercise there is).  I think it's good to share toys.

Looking for my frisbee

Pride in my running skills

I was very tired when I got home so I had nice long nap, Louise had a bath, and Dave played on the opening up computer that Louise looks at Facebook on.  I noticed Scrappy had some good pictures of the other day, I'm thinking Aaron loves Scrappy a lot to take so many photos!

TV - It's a dog eat dog world

It’s been really cold in Cheshire at the moment, and foggy, so I’m quite pleased to get home and cozy up in front of the TV.  I have favourite programmes: I like ‘House’ because he’s a doctor who makes Louise laugh and carries a big stick that looks great for playing fetch, and I like ‘A League Of Their Own’ because they all look like they're having fun and sometimes they play with a ball.  I especially like it when there’s football on, that’s mine and Dave’s favourite game even though we argue because I help Louise by supporting Tottenham when he supports Manchester United!  What I really don’t like is Eastenders, and it’s on nearly every night!

Everyone seems grumpy all the time, and shouts, and worst of all there’s no dogs at all.  What sort of place has no dogs? A sad place that’s where.  Dave likes it, so I make him feel really bad when he’s watching it.  I sigh, I look sad, and sometimes he changes it.  My New Year’s resolution (that’s a promise to yourself you try and keep but sometimes don’t) is to learn how to use the remote control.  

I hate Eastenders